Not a dream
Idk who needs to hear this but
ALTthis is the funniest shit. twitter is so fucking broken
ALTas @cubeghost has pointed out twitter is also DDOSing itself
between this and forcing you to log in to view tweets (which you should not, btw. delete your twitter) its been a funny 48 hours over there
we need a sickos.png visible from orbit from this one
this is NOT verified to be the case but very much a 2 and a 2 suspiciously hanging around what now appears to be a 4
"end of the month" in the article means right now (July 1st 2023)
basically it looks like they put the read limits in because they're paying much more under the pay as you go rate for utilizing google cloud
that article is dated June 11. this one's June 23, but like, the headline writers did put "reportedly" and "supposedly" in the headlines for good reason:
In the recent Undertale newsletter, Toby Fox showed off an unused scene that would have occurred in the Judgement Hall had the player decided to speedrun the game! This scene features Sans chastising the player for being early and slowly eating an ice cream for about a full minute while an original, slow song plays. I’m sure this would have been quite a headache for speedrunners!
(The scene can be viewed in it’s entirety here)
It wouldn’t have even worked because speedrunners could have just skipped this scene with the almighty power of the Punch Card.
Okay, so I know the reason the physics in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom have so many weird exceptions and edge cases is because the games' designers are concerned foremost with puzzle-crafting, and only secondarily with producing a coherent world model, and nearly every bit of weirdness can be explained by the fact that some puzzle mechanic required the games' physics to work that way. There's simply no deeper unifying logic to be found, and trying to find it is a good way to give yourself a headache.
One of those pieces of weirdness lies in the relative weights of various objects, particularly in relation to Link, the player character. Some objects are incongruously heavy or light for their size because the puzzles in which they appear require them to be, and Link himself is weirdly lightweight, presumably because that was the easiest way to cause him to experience the exaggerated knockback that many puzzles require without making the forces involved ridiculously strong.
Most objects and characters which recur among the two games are at least consistent in this respect. However, it has been empirically determined that in Breath of the Wild, Link weighs the same as 8.5 apples, whereas in Tears of the Kingdom he weighs the same as 10 apples, and now I can't stop myself from wondering what fucking puzzle mechanic required Link to be exactly 1.5 apples heavier.
I'm more interested in the team meetings that likely resulted from this, considering Nintendo's fastidious approach to polish. I can imagine one camp bringing in chart after chart defending those extra 1.5 apples, and another more or less going "No, this is New Zelda canon, it cannot and should not be changed. Link is 8.5 apples heavy and any change to this base equation will run the risk of endangering the entire product line."
If I were an evil wizard, I would simply not use mind control spells which can be dispelled by depleting the victim's health bar.
@bluebandedagate replied:
ok but then you miss out on watching the victim's friends beating the shit out of them for you
I mean, I wouldn't tell them it's not that kind of spell. It can be a learning experience.
And then if you want to be real evil you give the mind controlled victim the order to act like they have been freed from the spell after regaining consciousness.
The party thinks they've succeeded and you now have a perfect little spy and ally for the final confrontation.
Counterargument: Narrative law suggests that they’re going to break out of the mind control anyways, and I would much rather everyone be out of HP and MP when that happens rather than prepared for a boss fight (against me).
Idea: A game where you have to make a Karkat-styled rant based on a single word prompt
Prompt: English
Oh, I'm sorry, do you mean the piece of shit language cobbled together from the rancid table scraps left over from the verbal banquet all the other languages were having, trying to crawl into its seat at the table blowing pus bubbles from its fucknasty approximation of a moldy pie-hole and projectile vomitting up the remains of coherency or common sense? Or do you mean the piece of shit nation that spawned it and yet was so ashamed, so fucking devastated by its own identity that it had to give itself a title like ""the British""? Or- and stop me now if you need to, because there's a zillion options out in the collective consciousness that is funneled into my goddamn suffering that I could say here and you're sooner going to see me choke to death on my own flying spit than see me reach the end of that particular list- do you mean the PIECE OF SHIT green skullfucker that haunts our EVERY WAKING MOMENT as if this uncaring CLUSTERFUCK OF A COSMOS wasnt DEADSET on seeing my days play out like a shoestring budget indie feature filmbros castrate themselves to on the altar of EARTH SUNDANCE FESTIVAL NIGHTS? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW LITTLE SLEEP I GET BECAUSE OF QUESTIONS LIKE THESE. I COULD BE HERE TYPING FOR LITERAL YEARS AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN GET TO THE LITTLEST TOPMOST LAYER OF SOIL IN THE GRAVE I AM DIGGING MYSELF INTO WITHIN THE MOTIONS OF ATTEMPTING TO ANSWER A CALL TO ACTION AS MIND-NUMBINGLY STUPID AS THIS. I WILL BE LITERAL BONES AND CHITIN DUST BEFORE WE REACH THE END OF THE WAYS I CAN BE LAID IN THIS STONE MONUMENT TO A SINGLE WORD LIKE """"ENGLISH"""". THE LIST OF BULLSHIT IS NEVERENDING AS IS MY HATE -
Everyone's so upset about what's going on on my normal and functional space ship.
Excellent you can join ranks with that one doctor who this story made late for surgery
#same#started reading suddenly it was 5 fucking am
Read about my normal and functional spaceship to absolutely destroy your sleep schedule
This happened to me with their (now finished) serial novel Curse Words, and then their (currently unfinished) story Charlie MacNamara, Galactic Ace when I caught up to Curse Words while it was still in progress.
Simply put, it’s just a thing that happens when it comes to reading Derin’s stories.
I've been reliably informed by many, many readers that these stories are specifically crack for ADHD people who usually have difficulty reading and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. That's such a random demographic.
Look it happens
#cannot start reading it is already Late
Do you have to do surgery tomorrow? No? Then how bad could it be to start reading.
#me watching horror movies: noooo why would you open the door covered in warnings not to do that!#me reading thos blog post: I should start reading time to orbit
You should do it, nothing will go wrong. You are the master of your sleep schedule and will get plenty of rest. It'll be fine.
#I am one sentence in and my suspected adhd brain started to fucking. VIBRATE#what the FUCK#I am so happy and am going to get a normal amount of sleep tonight
Ahaha yes another one
Join the ADHD Reader Army
Congratulations, you did invent time travel after all! Unfortunately, instead of the Soviet moon conspiracy thing, all it’s good for is warping your readers several hours into the future.
... I'll take it.
#what the fuck#started reading and this took the better part of yesterday's workday and many hours of night and almost all of today's workday#jesus fucking christ DO NOT START THIS IF U HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS
Counterpoint: reading this story is the important thing you have to do in the next 48 hours.
It's ok, that other thing can wait.
Just a couple of chapters to see what it's like, then you can stop and do the other thing.
It'll be fine.
#um hi oh my fucking gods this is true#I started reading at 9 am and then just kept reading and reading#and then suddenly it's 1 pm except it's the next day. whoopsie?
This is the funniest one yet STOP AND EAT SOMETHING
alpaca-carlesi